Feeling lost.

I am so sad that we haven't been able to get Sage's headstone in yet. I really wanted to be able to have it done before Christmas and now its looking like it might not even be done before...wow, I just realized I don't even know what to call it, I can't really call it his birthday and I don't want to call it the day he passed. What do you name it? The day we lost him is what I am left with. So the headstone might not even be done by then. That really makes me feel like a failure. I feel like he must think we just abandoned him.